To THRIVE Instead of Just Survive, Replace Fear with Faith

I know with current events and more troops deploying, you military spouse, may be overwhelmed with fear.  To thrive instead of survive as a military wife, you must replace fear with faith.

Replace your fears with faith

Fear is a real temptation in the military wife-life. But we can overcome our fears instead of letting them overcome us. 

Max Lucado sums it up well when he says, “Feed your fears and your faith will starve.”  We do this when we focus too much on what we fear – it grows and overwhelms us, often consumes our thoughts, and pushes us into a tailspin of fear and negativity. We’ve got to avoid the pattern of fearful thinking, but we cannot just stop it – we’ve got to replace those fearful thoughts with faith. 

Your mind cannot be full of two things at once.

The law of displacement tells us you can’t be full of two things at the same time. Imagine I have a vase full of water. If I try to drop rocks in the vase, it will push the water out of the vase and allow it to spill on the counter. Both the rocks and the water cannot both fill the vase at the same time.

This same principle applies to our minds. As a military wife, you may be FULL of fear. Especially if your spouse is deployed, your thoughts may be racing with different fears you may have while your spouse is deployed.

You may be afraid of 

• Your spouse will be seriously injured while deployed.

• You won’t be able to handle life independently while your husband is away on TDY orders or deployed.

• You’ll get moved to that duty assignment that you want to avoid at all costs.

Our fears can be limitless, but when we focus on them too much, it sucks the life out of us and can even push us into a mental health crisis or just keep us in a constant state of anxiety. It helps to acknowledge that fear is normal, but intently focusing on it is not – that is sinful. God doesn’t want us to focus on those thoughts because He wants us to walk in freedom. He knows these fearful thoughts will cause us anxiety and crush our spirit.

So, we have to replace our fears with faith. We push out our fearful thoughts by focusing on the truth we know to be true and focusing on faith in God and His character.

Build your faith by focusing on God’s truth (Word). Focus on what you know to be true:

• In a way we cannot quite understand, God maintains control of all that is happening in you and your husband’s life. God maintains control of every circumstance and is never surprised. We may be surprised, but He is never surprised. There is nothing that He allows that is not filtered through His loving hands. Colossians 1:17 tells us, “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” This verse says that God maintains complete control. 

• Deuteronomy 31:8 tells us, “The Lord goes before you. He will be with you; He will never leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Isaiah 41:10 adds to this, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” God will be with you as you struggle to juggle the many things you must hold in balance during your spouse’s absence. I have memorized Isaiah 41:10 and will quote it to myself when I feel overwhelmed and imagine God taking my hand in his and helping me.

• There are things that God allows that we might not choose but He can see the whole big picture.  I’ve found that often when He did not allow something in my life, it ended up being His protection. God will be with you even in that assignment that you dread. Joshua 1:9 tells us, “Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

What fears do you need to displace with faith in God in your life? 

Philippians 4:6-7 gives us a model for replacing worry with prayer, praise, and thanksgiving. Philippians tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

These two verses instruct us to name specific ways in which God has been faithful to us in the past – times in which we’ve had prayers answered. This thanksgiving builds our faith, it reminds us that God has been faithful to us in the past, so He can be trusted to be faithful now. When fear rises up, we take that to God in prayer.  He then pushes out that fret and worry; the peace of God displaces the worry at the center of your life and gives you peace.  

Sarah provided an example of replacing fear with faith. Don’t think to yourself that Sarah didn’t understand what you are going through.  Abraham went off to fight in war with his 318 men and engaged in brutal hand-to-hand combat and he wasn’t a trained military man. Abraham came from an agricultural background. So, I sure bet she understood the fears of someone serving in the military. They were also moving frequently and had left family and home. So, she had a lot to fear and much reason for worry, but Scripture tells us she didn’t do that:

a.              1 Peter 3:6 (ESV): “As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.  And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 

b.     Hebrews 11:11 (ESV): “By faith, Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age since she considered him faithful who had promised.”

The best news here is what happens to our minds when we follow this model to replace our fears with faith. It takes away our anxiety – when we focus on faith, it is replaced with the peace of God which passes all understanding. That’s not peace that just lasts a second – it’s peace that sustains us. As we follow the guidance of Phil 4:6-7, our worries and fears are replaced with the peace of God. It’s supernatural – a peace will wash over you. The peace of God means we can have joy even during difficult circumstances. Joy is a contentment that is not based on our circumstances but on knowing a God whom we can trust even when we don’t understand.  As you are in the trenches of military wife life, with a husband who may be deployed, with the help of God’s Word and his indwelling spirit, you can build your faith to replace your fears. 

During one of my husband’s deployments to the Middle East, there were regular surface-to-air missiles shot at the squadron as they performed their mission. Early in the deployment, I’d watch the news and hear of anti-aircraft fire so thick that the pilots likened it to an overcast day. There were simply so many anti-aircraft systems in the region that it was too many to effectively jam them all and this left the US planes vulnerable to the Iraqi missile arsenal. The airspace was a minefield. As I listened to the harrowing details, I knew I had to stop the racing of my mind. I turned off the news, grabbed my Bible, and searched for Scripture that I knew could comfort me. I was struggling to reconcile God’s faithfulness to me personally, so I began to recount God’s faithfulness to the nation of Israel. I turned to Exodus and read how God safely allowed Israel to cross the Red Sea but swallowed up their enemies, the Pharaoh, and his army, with the crushing water. This reminded me that nothing was more powerful than God, not even surface-to-air missiles. If God had defeated the thousands of troops of Pharaoh with their chariots, then He could be trusted now. 

I meditated on Philippians 4:6-7 and did exactly what it guided me to do. I prayed and presented my requests to God for the safety of my husband and his entire unit. I thanked God for His faithfulness to me and to those who have followed Him before me. As I meditated over and over, a peace washed over me and allowed me to rest and leave the situation in the hands of God. This serenity was soothing, so I avoided turning back on the news or picking up my phone to tempt me to fear again. I relied on my faith and what I knew to be true from the Word of God.

You may have fears that come back over and over again. Each time those fears rise, follow this model to replace your fears with faith. You can help empower this by recognizing you are focusing more on your fear and confessing that to God and asking him to help build your faith. As you practice this more and more, you’ll find you can more quickly switch your mind focus from your fears to your faith. 

Just like Sarah, you too can choose to focus on your faith and not your fear - whatever I focus on will grow. Shift your focus. To do this, you may need to cut the news off, get off social media, and open the Word. This will enable you to feed your faith and not your fear. 

Let’s continue discovering joy in the trenches of this military life, as we continue to embrace God’s truth, replacing our fears with faith in God’s Word and His control over all things. 

I wrote a whole book with lessons for military wives from the life of Sarah and Abraham in Genesis 12-22. That book is available now. I also have a free leader guide to encourage military spouses to read and study the Word in community. Find the free leader guide here.